SSS does not like liars. SSS is not adverse to the odd white lie herself, in the interests of kindness, you understand..........oh, alright, in her own interests. But what she doesn't like is barefaced liars.
Please don't tell me that you were told you could come in for your surgical procedure at 4.30pm when I know you weren't. Please don't tell me that the doctors rooms gave you that time when you know they didn't. Please don't get shitty with me when I tell you that's not possible. Please don't get all passive aggressive with me and tell me that you have patients booked yourself and say to me in a nasty tone, "What do you expect me to do, cancel all of my patients?" I don't give a shit. As I told you, I have 53 patients to organise. Its' 3.05pm and I'm not going to piss other people about because you couldn't organise yourself properly. The other people are patients too, but they're not your patients, so clearly you think I'm going to inconvenience everyone because you think your shit smells like Chanel No. 19. All you had to do was ask the doctors rooms for the last place on the list. I don't give a shit about what you want when you can't do what you were supposed to do and call me in the morning and ask for a late admission. You're just lucky that someone else was willing to swap with you, Mr 'I'm So Special'. I'm almost sorry I was able to sort it out. You're a fucking liar. And don't be all nice and friendly to me on the 'phone when I ring you back. I already think you're a wanker, it's too late to be nice.
Thank God I got a good laugh from the little old lady from Bowral who told me her daughter had organised for a 'little bus' to come and get her. I wonder if she'll offer the ambulance crew some money for her fare.
Liars. Don't do it. Have the common decency to own up to it, not hide behind your stinking fucking attitude.
Anthony Bourdain's macaroni cheese
4 weeks ago